Apocalypto

I've been toying with phrases like "a-pile-of-crappo" or "a-waste-of-time-o" to describe my thoughts on Mel Gibson's "Apocalypto," but both seemed just a bit harsh. It's an intriguing movie, but there seemed to be little reward in the end.

There are a few things to be aware of before going into the theater. The movie is all subtitles, but it isn't difficult to keep pace with what's being said while also taking in the scenery. There is a lot of blood, violence and gore. Also, if you're looking for a history of the Mayan culture, this is going to seriously disappoint you.

The main focus is on Jaguar Paw (Rudy Youngblood), a young Mayan hunter who is ripped out of his village and taken to a Mayan temple to be sacrificed. Jaguar Paw is living a comfortable life in the jungle with his growing family and other members of his village. That is until a group of Mayan warriors tear into his village, pillaging, killing, and taking hostages. Those who survive are forced to return to a much larger Mayan city where plague and pestilence is running rampant. To appease the god bringing this devastation, thousands are being sacrificed. In an effort to save his pregnant wife and young son, Jaguar Paw manages to get them to "safety" by putting them in a large pit. Unfortunately, they end up getting trapped in the pit before they can be rescued.

The rest of the story follows Jaguar Paw as he escapes his captures and struggles to get back to his wife and child. This is the best part of the movie as he takes on a batch of ruthless Mayans. The weakest part, though, is what is going on in the pit. I'm not going to give away a major part of the story here, but I have to go off on this piece. I had trouble accepting the fact that not only could the pregnant wife and child survive living in the pit, but they also manage to literally keep their heads above water when the pit floods from the rain, AND the woman also has an underwater delivery while also managing to balance the son on her shoulders. Granted, the Mayan women are tough, but I lost faith in the story at this point.

Rudy Youngblood salvages the movie with a great performance as the loving son/husband who will risk his own life to save others. I learned nothing of the Mayan culture, there is no historical relevance to the story being told, and the ending can be figured out pretty easily. It wasn't a total waste of time, but there are far better movies to be seen. I give it a C+.

"Apocalypto" is rated R with a running time of 138 minutes.